Wednesday, August 15, 2007

"When in Rome": A Joke

A guy goes on vacation to a place he has not visited before nor knows little about. The first thing he does after departing the airport is to rent a car. He must drive across country to reach his final destination. After an hour or so he comes across a man fucking a cow just off the highway. Naturally he is startled, but says to himself “hey there are nuts in every country” and after a short while the pastoral beauty of the countryside pushes the memory out of consciousness. However, a mere half hour later he sees not one guy but two guys fucking cows just off the highway. This time nothing was going to spare him from the memories of seeing three guys fucking cows. He began to beret himself. “How could I be so stupid as to spend my hard earned money on a vacation to the cow fucking capital of world?” And then it hit him. He had not gotten lucky in quite some time and “hey when in Rome.” So he pulled over the shoulder of the road and looked for secluded spot. Not that it seem to bother the locals, but there is fucking a cow and then there is fucking a cow in full view of people motoring down a busy highway. He wandered over to the first cow he saw, blurted out “hey baby”, played with a nipple and then got down to business. Mid act he was startled by a laugh. He looked up and noticed he was being watched. Several locals, including the first guy he had seen fucking a cow, were laughing at him. (The face of a guy you see fucking a cow tends to imprint in your memory.) He zipped up and angrily confronted these hypocrites. “What are you laughing at?” he yelled. Pointing to the cow fucker, “I saw him doing the same earlier today”. They continued to laugh. “What could possibly be so funny? From what I have seen men around here would just as soon fuck a cow as milk one.” The crowd fell quiet for a second and one man began talk, half stammering half speaking. “Your cow your cow She is ugly.” The assembled multitude burst out laughing again.
How does this relate to politics? It doesn’t, but there is history of political cow jokes in Canada.

For example, Gordan Gibson explained Trudeau’s reaction the the Le Dain Commission thus: “The report was released as we were touring a bull-semen facility in Guelph, Ont. (I am not making this up.) The press cared not at all about productive agriculture and totally about weed. At an end-of-tour press conference, the prime minister was asked if he favoured decriminalization. We were in the semen facility's boardroom and it had a blackboard with a permanent picture of Elsie the cow painted on, perhaps in recognition of the customer base. Mr. Trudeau was very quick. Saying not a word, he went to the blackboard, took the chalk and drew a cartoonist's balloon out of the cow's mouth. Inside he slowly wrote, "I like grass!" The room dissolved in laughter.”

Finally, Tommy Douglas famously likened Canada to a cow. “Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes.”


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